A Healthy Alternative

OK so not exactly healthy, but certainly healthier.

My kids love doughnuts. Don't ask me why. (Other than the fact that they are loaded with sugar and trans fat and multicolored sprinkles...I just don't understand it )

So I made a heroic attempt to make a doughnut that really wasn't that bad, so that my poor deprived children could indulge in mortal pleasures and I didn't have to feel guilty about it. (OK so maybe my motives were all wrong)

Whole Wheat Doughnuts
5 tsp active dry yeast
1/4 c warm water (105-115 degrees)
1 1/2 c lukewarm milk
1/2 c unprocessed sugar (preferably succanat but I used turbinado)
1 tsp salt
2 eggs
1/3 c coconut oil
5-6 cups fresh milled whole white wheat
1 quart coconut oil for frying


Sprinkle the yeast over the warm water and let stand for 5 minutes, or until foamy

In a large bowl (I used my bosch bowl) mix together the yeast mixture, milk, sugar, salt, eggs, coconut oil, and two cups of flour. Mix for a few minutes at low speed, or stir with a wooden spoon. Beat in remaining flour 1/2 c at a time until the dough no longer sticks to the bowl. Knead for about 5 minutes or until smooth and elastic.




Turn the dough out onto a floured surface and gently roll out to a 1/2 in thickness. Cut with a floured doughnut cutter or glass. Cover the doughnuts with a damp dishtowel and let rise until about doubled in size.




Heat oil in a large heavy skillet to 350 degrees. Slide doughnuts into the hot oil using a wide spatula. Turn doughnuts over as they rise to the surface. (They brown up fast.) Fry doughnuts on each side until golden brown.




Remove from hot oil and place on paper towel to drain.





Drizzle doughnuts with glaze if desired.

Glaze
1/2 c melted butter
2 c powdered turbinado
1 tsp vanilla extract
1-2 TBSP milk




So truth be told...these are NO Krispy Cremes (Thank goodness!) and if you are used to highly refined, white sugar laden doughnuts these will be an adjustment. But really they were delicious and a huge hit with the family!!

YEAH for healthy (ier) doughnuts!

"Do you love me?"...

"Yes, momma" says boy #4 as he gazes at me through tear filled eyes.

"If you love me you'll obey me" The words somehow reverberate off his wet face. Penetrate my disobedient heart. Did I just hear what I said?

Yes, Lord I love you. Why don't I obey? I am your child. And I disobey. Sometimes quite knowingly. Actually most often. My flesh wins out. I fail. I stumble. Why do I hold my child to a higher standard than I hold myself?

"If you love me, you will obey what I command"... John 14:15

Oh Lord, may my heart be drenched in Your love and compassion and mercy. Things that I am so undeserving of. Terribly, miserably undeserving of. May I yearn for obedience. Thank you for Your grace and forgiveness when I stumble. May I duplicate and resonate your love and grace to my children. Teach me to train them in your ways, so they too may seek to obey.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres . Love never fails." I Corinthians 13: 4-8

New Direction

Over the last several years my passion for homeschooling has dwindled, mostly out of my own selfish ambitions. I've felt overwhelmed and discouraged. Day after day I've felt like a wandering pilgrim. I knew what destination I wanted to arrive at but didn't know how to get there. Or maybe I did know how to get there but the path seemed too difficult, too steep to climb, too rocky to safely manuever . Perhaps its because by nature I'm a rebel and I constantly find myself in the flesh bucking against the leadership of my husband.

I thank GOD for His grace. I don't understand it. I just know I need it. Without God's love and grace and forgiveness I am nothing. Nothing.

So I return to the path. A difficult one for sure. But the one I know our family is called to. I want to instill a genuine love of learning in my children. I want to Explore. Be awed by His marvelous world. I want to restore the wonder of creation. I want to read together. Pray together. Live together. I want to listen to the Spirit. And most importantly I want to love. Love our amazing God, each other and those around us. This is a meaningful, well lived life. I pray, by God's grace it is ours.

Photo: Big boy studying at fire's side. Little girl toes exploring sand

Little Boy Kisses

He brought me a dandelion. I tucked it behind my ear. He looked at me with his deep brown eyes. His hands gently cradled my face. He gave me a little boy kiss...and it was simply beautiful.

Daughter Grace

I love my little girl. Don't get me wrong I adore my boys. All of them. But there is just something extra special about Hannah. Last night we were laying in bed together. She was watching Strawberry Shortcake and I was making out a grocery list. All of a sudden out of the blue she cuddled up to me and in the darkness whispered, "I love you. I could never get a better mom, cause you're the best" Her words penetrated my heart.
Day after day I seem to struggle through parenting. I try hard to be a good mom. But I feel so inadequate and sometimes question how in the world did God think I could possibly rear all these children. I yell. I holler. I vent. I talk too much. I don't really listen. I'm too busy. I'm quick to anger. I'm often selfish. But Hannah sees more than that. And for that I am thankful.

Childhood love letters

Hannah loves to draw and write. Her latest fascination is copying anything and everything she can get a hold of. Yesterday I found little post it notes all over the house. Apparently she was in the kitchen because they said things like "corn starch" and "nutmeg". For many weeks she has written me little notes and drawn me pictures of us . Her stick people are adorable and she always gives me curly hair and a broad smile. Often times when I walk in the door after being gone I will find a note on the entry table that tells me she loves me. Not a day goes by that I don't get at least one love letter from my little girl. And honestly, until today, I haven't really given them a whole lot of thought. Many times, she'll come to show me when I'm cooking dinner or schooling the boys. Its seems its always when I'm busy. I'll give her a glance and tell her its pretty which always seems to delight her little 5 year old soul. Then she walks away and I throw it in the trash. After all, if I kept all of them I would have a pile a mile high. But tonight as I was baking cookies I glanced over on the kitchen counter and saw the note she wrote me earlier. Somehow it had not made it to the garbage like all the others do. I looked at those scratchings, the little girl scribbles, her words carried from one line to the next and for a moment time stood still. I realized one day I would long for them. I pictured myself old and gray walking in the front door to an empty entry table. I envisioned myself cooking dinner with no interruptions. I thought about life without love scribbles from little girls. And it made me sad. One day I know I will cling to her notes and wish there were more. Dear God let me enjoy the simple deliveries of love from my children. Their every kiss, their every hug, and every beautiful childhood love letter.